Will You Help Me Learn Dutch?

Will you help me learn Dutch?

Because I’m really trying to learn.

I keep counting to ten, saying “Hoi” and “Bedankt”;

I keep asking “how do you say…?” and “what does that mean?”

I say dankjewel; want to say alstublieft but can only say please,

As my tongue twists while I think of what’s coming next.

I walk around with a big smile so that people don’t think I’m impolite when I gesture but don’t speak.

I look at the till to double check I’ve understood the total of my shopping right (at least they use Euros and not Drakmas, can you imagine…?);

I don’t hold eye contact with anyone in the street in case they say something to me I can’t understand:

Will you help me learn Dutch?

So far I know mooi, gracht, boom, Haarlemerplein, slaapen and Doei. I also know all of those words that sound like English and Spanish, so I suppose I’m quite lucky.

And I have also learnt a few words that I don’t dare write here.

The Dutch are so language-accommodating,  I suppose I’m just lazy.

And it does seem ironic that if I open my mouth I might end up speaking Double Dutch.