It turns out we’ve been following the wrong “P”.
Last week was all about catching up in person with two friends I’ve mainly been talking to online over the last five years (or more, I’ve lost count!). These separate conversations led to one insight, which I thought I’d share with you.
I had dinner with Bart in a quiet corner in Brussels, outdoors (yes, you heard right; the weather was amazing). I was telling him how recording for Management Café, where co-host Tim and I share our personal stories of being in charge of a team, often feels like therapy.
“Of course it’s therapy,” said Bart. “Because it’s dialogue, and dialogue can feel like therapy. Listening to another person sets our own thoughts moving. In doing so, we access a part of ourselves, of our story, we haven’t voiced before.”
It’s true. Podcasting does that for me. The conversations I have, be it with imaginary listeners, co-hosts, or guests, often trigger new insights or crystallise ideas that have been lingering in my mind.
And last Friday, I had one of those moments, but it wasn’t on a podcast.
It was still in Brussels, but this time, not with Bart. I was talking to my friend Paula over coffee, indoors this time. (So much for a lengthy Belgian summer!)
Paula and I hadn’t seen each other in a long time. We’ve known each other for most of our lives: our mothers met at university and remained friends forever. Apparently, they passed their friendship genes onto us.
Paula lives in Brussels, and was one reason I visited (another reason was to meet Bart off-line for the first time!). We talked for a few hours. More than sharing updates about our lives, we shared thoughts about our lives. And through this, we arrived at a new insight. One which I’m sure I’ll be sharing often from now on.
Here it comes. Oh, the suspense.
I’ve always had a problem with the advice or mantra that you should “follow your passion”.
I’ve always followed my interests, which are often labelled by others as “passions”. (I sometimes think that “passion” is a euphemism for “obsession”, but that’s a topic for another post…)
But I’ve never felt like I was following my passion, just that I was fortunate to go through processes I enjoy.
And there’s also a problem with believing everyone has to follow their passion.
Not everyone is driven by one thing and not everyone can name what makes them happy.
Moreover, “passions” don’t always make us happy. When we’re in the context of work, passions often require an outcome, and in pursuit of that outcome, we run the danger of following a process that sometimes, however, is at odds with how we think things should be done.
This is why I believe we’ve been following the wrong P.
(And no, the correct P isn’t “purpose”.)
It’s “principles”.
Because if we don’t live our lives by our principles, we experience cognitive dissonance or a sense of misalignment with the context around us. We might be unhappy at work because we don’t believe in what we’re creating, or the way in which we’re treated doesn’t feel right.
When we can’t align our work with our principles, we become unhappy.
Let’s say I’ve landed a sales job, which I never considered my “passion”. I think my colleagues are fun, believe in the product I sell, and my salary allows me to live comfortably.
But then, one day, my company sets unrealistic targets, which means I have to implement sales tactics in order to sell unnecessary add-ons. This doesn’t sit well with me.
The solution isn’t to find another sales job for a product I’m passionate about. The solution is to find a process which aligns with what I think is right, or seek a new job that allows me to act and be treated according to what I think is right. Even if I were “passionate about sales”, I’d need to be comfortable with my behaviour at work. So, if we follow our principles, rather than our passions, we can’t stop the misconception that passion brings full satisfaction at work, and that we’re less of a professional because we don’t follow our passion. I’ve met people who think there’s something wrong with them because they don’t “have a passion”. Even though this probably comes from a real need to make a change, it can set them off in the wrong direction to seek a better life.
While many people will follow their passion as a way of finding happiness at work, if we stop seeing it as the main route to happiness at work, we’ll find other ones instead.
Think Write Draw 